You're engaged! This should be happiest time of your life when all of your family and friends are only there to celebrate YOU and your love...right? So it's a bummer when there are fights, fall-outs and disagreements during such a special time. The thing is, weddings bring together a lot of different personalities (for better or for worse) and there is emotion and money involved which is a recipe for tension. But, take hope! (It gets better, I swear).
You can keep the good vibes going all planning long by focusing on these three things:
1. Decide on decision makers and expectations early on.
Many times, tension results from varying opinions and unclear expectations. I often see hurt feelings when parents have a vision that doesn't match up with that of you and your fiance. If you are paying for your whole wedding yourself then you absolutely get full reign on the decision making. If you have family members contributing to your wedding then you may need to take some of their suggestions more seriously, out of respect for their gift to you. I know the money conversation is awkward (who doesn't love asking for money?) but have it early and often to avoid any confusion.
If your parents or loved ones are giving you money no strings attached to spend how you please on your big day then thank them profusely and get on with the planning! But, if they have some constraints on how you use their money, (maybe they want you to get a certain type of cake or invite some of their friends) then make sure this is clear early on so you can decide if you'd like to accept or graciously decline their generous gift.
2. Divide up responsibilities.
People love to be included in special occasions such as weddings. While they may not necessarily want to set up all your chairs for your ceremony (if they do, you have some AMAZING friends...can I borrow them?) but most people like being asked for help. If you have an over-bearing aunt who seems to keep trying to take over your wedding give her a task you know she'll like. Maybe she makes delicious homemade jams that you can use for your favors or she has pretty handwriting and can address your invitations. Recognize the people who are itching to help by delegating a task to them--it also takes one more to-do item off your plate!
3. Pick your battles.
At the end of the day, your wedding is going to be gorgeous and you're doing to marry the love of your life. Your big day will bring both of your families closer and that will likely bring some amount of conflict with it. Choose what items are most important to you and stick to your guns on those things and then be willing to let the little things go.
Prioritize those few items and let your loved ones know which details are important to you and already decided on. If you and your fiance are dead set on having a taco truck and your parents are adamant about having a traditional sit down dinner let them help you make decisions on other aspects that you don't feel as strongly about.
When you get a little stressed in the details just close your eyes and picture standing in front of your teary-eyed family saying your vows and celebrating with your closest friends. Your wedding is going to be perfect, promise!
Have any other tips on dealing with family tension when it comes to wedding planning? Put it in the comments below!